Dec 06 2010
Fa la la la la, La la la, Frown
For many, this time of year brings glitter covered, euphoric memories slightly yellowed and worn by time. Each ornament is placed on the Christmas tree with a particular sense of ceremony unmatched by anything else all year. Everyone observes traditions with joy.
Well, mostly everyone.
This is also the time of year that people wishing to start or expand their family feel the absence of children the most. I have a little bit of personal experience with this flavor of melancholy. While I feel a tremendous amount of hope this year, I know that each decoration, each commercial with an over abundance of sleigh bells, and every toy catalog also secretly magnifies emptiness for many.
There are sources of support for nearly everything in the world. For me, it is a medical issue that prohibits pregnancy. While I’m sure they are out there, it’s hard to know where to even start looking to find someone who shares the same situation– not necessarily a matter of infertility but still a matter of childlessness . I do know one thing– that’s a lonely place to be.
I don’t know who 99.9% of the hits on my blog represent, but if you, Mystery Reader, are in the same boat (or a similar boat), during this particularly hard time of year, you are not alone. I have a sneaking suspicion that there are a lot of us out there.
So…
While I don’t know where you are on your journey, I wish you extra peace this holiday season. Above all, I wish you hope. Hope is a real game changer and worth holding on to, and you deserve that.
You, my love, are awesome. I’m so lucky to know such a wonderful, caring person. I hope all your wishes come true this year, H <3
Awww. My heart hurts for y’all but at the same time it is full of hope and joy too. I just know next year you too will be out there w/ us crazy folk @ midnight getting that baby’s Santa gift from the black Friday sales then we will all celebrate he/she’s 1st Christmas w/ a grand breakfast and cuddles! Hang in there, baby!
Heather, it is my Christmas wish that this is the very last Christmas you and Kevin spend not being called Mommy and Daddy. I hope and pray that a very, very smart birthmom out there sees your profile and realizes how right it is to have you parent their child. Your child. It will happen, I know it with everything in me.
Don’t forget, you can always talk to me. I may not be in your shoes now but you know that 4 years ago I was in your exact shoes. I wish for all of the same blessings I’ve received for you and Kevin.
Nikki– thank you so much! I wish I could come through the screen and hug you. <3
Tiff– I can’t WAIT for Santa and Christmas with Baby C. And our own traditions. Thank you for your well wishes!
Tess– thank you so much! That made me cry (in a good way!). You have been such a source of inspiration for me, Tess. I think of you and your wonderful family all the time as we go through this. Thank you.
I love you all to the moon and back. I hope y’all know that!
Wonderful post… makes me so thankful for what I do have and wishful for those who don’t. <3
We too had many a Christmas with no bundle of joy and the emptiness of wanting it to happen so bad. the beauty of it all is those are all lost after your first with little baby C. You forget almost everything before the baby got here.
You know how I feel about religion, but I constantly keep a positive outlook for you guys cause I see how bad you want to be parents. Hang in there.
Thank you, Amy!
J– Thank you! Seeing you guys with R makes me so excited for the future. I can’t wait to have a little guy or gal that we love as much as you love him. I know without a doubt that whenever it happens, the wait will be well worth it!