Mar 20 2013
Since January, my little guy who never got antibiotic-sick during his first year, has been to the doctor three times. He’s currently on his third round of antibiotics.
Having a sick kid is the worst and not for the reasons you might think. It’s not the clinginess or the irritability or being snotted on or anything like that. You WORRY…. about EVERYTHING. You lie awake at night listening for coughs and cries. As fatigue gnaws your sleepless brain, you start to imagine elaborate scenarios in which you fall asleep only to discover a cold baby in the morning like someone on the evening news– all because you fell asleep and missed a fatal cough.
Parenthood is crazy, y’all.
I think that even worse than the self fabricated night terrors is the guilt that comes with a sick baby. What did I miss? Should I be feeding him more kale or more vitamin C or something? Sickness has a tendency to sneak up on Baby Boy. Things go from a few moments of misplaced crankiness to– Shapow! Fever and malaise out of nowhere! You feel like you failed. You failed to put the pieces together. You failed to keep your baby from being sick. You failed to realize they were getting sick. You just feel like an all around failure, and feeling like you failed your child is a truly horrible feeling.
Like I said, parenthood is crazy, y’all.
K, the yin to my emotional yang, always tries to pull me back to rationality with logic, which helps. When Baby Boy fell ill (and by ill, I mean an ear infection, so not anything too serious), I sat on the back patio and cried after I put him down for the night. K talked me off the ledge. Then I went for a run… which was not my brightest idea. By the end of the night, though I still felt guilty, I felt a lot less like horrible mom and better prepared for my nighttime audio vigil.
Sing it with me, now. Parenthood is crazy, y’all.
When I took Baby Boy to the doctor, I asked if there was anything we could do to help prevent ear infections– nutrition, habits, anything. After yet ANOTHER lecture about eustachian tube anatomy– seriously, I got it the first time– I was informed that there was no ounce of prevention and only the pound of cure in the case of ear infections. Blerg. I don’t know if I believe that answer, but I fear we’ll be doomed to repeat this story again until my little guy grows out of this stage. Poor monkey.
In the mean time, I’m stocking up on baby ibuprofen and wine and hoping for the best. The wine is for me. I’d hope that goes without saying.
Anyway, so, in conclusion– Parenthood is crazy, y’all. Or maybe it just makes you crazy. The jury’s still out…