Jan 09 2014

Life Looking Forward

Published by at 10:37 am under Updates

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Thanksgiving and Christmas flew past us with the velocity of a sneeze.  We visited our family.  We indulged in food.  We caught up with some friends, but not all.  It was a good holiday, and I was sad to see it go.

Our little guy turned two in December.  Two!  He isn’t a baby anymore, and he is becoming more of a little boy every day.  It’s SO nice when we can effectively communicate.  Of course, there are still plenty of challenging moments as he struggles to understand the world around him, and we struggle to find the half way point and meet him there.

People have been asking us since we brought Baby Boy home if we’d do it again for a second child.  Until recently, I was always quick to answer, “Absolutely,” but now, I’m not so sure we will.  We really lucked out on Baby Boy.  If I had a nickle for every time someone told me I didn’t know how lucky I was, I’d be rich.  While you can tell yourself all day how lucky you are, I don’t think you can really appreciate a baby who sleeps through the night at two months old, for example, until you have a baby who screams through the night at 9 months no matter what you do.  We got lucky.  Really lucky.

Does lightening strike twice?

As Baby Boy becomes more independent, I have to admit, it’s really nice.  This whole communication thing is better than I could have ever imagined!  Do we want to start all over again?  Do we want to reset the diaper clock?  Will our child be scarred if he doesn’t have a sibling?  Can we handle the emotional toll of another adoption?  Can we afford adoption again?

….Do we want to?

I don’t know if we do.

Parenthood is hard– even when you are lucky.  We aren’t entirely set either way, but we seriously are entertaining the idea of being content with Baby Boy and living a full life with him… only him.

Still, I get insanely jealous when expanding a family is SO EASY for some people that it almost seems like an afterthought to them.  Does this mean anything?  Maybe it means we will adopt again.  Maybe it just means I could be a better person.  I can’t say.

I guess my point to all of this is, looking out at the year ahead of us and our future, I don’t know if we will expand our family, and I might really be okay with that.  It’s a little scary to admit that out loud.

But for goodness sake, if expanding your family is easy for you and your only question is do we or don’t we—  please, PLEASE be grateful for that.

 

9 responses so far

9 Responses to “Life Looking Forward”

  1. Tiffanyon 09 Jan 2014 at 10:49 am

    Amen to your thoughts on those that reproducing happens so easy for!

  2. Jessicaon 09 Jan 2014 at 10:49 am

    I never thought I would have THREE children, and girls at that. I grew up as an only child, and I do not have any issues with that. I feel like I am strong, independent, loving and honest. I do enjoy watching my girls interact with each other and I feel more than normally blessed to have a family that I consider to be large. It can be difficult, but at the very same instant it is the single most rewarding thing I have ever experienced. Love is equal for each child, and I was afraid it would not be. How could you love someone, let alone more than one someone, that much?!? It is very natural. Each of my girls are very different than one another and I love that. With all of this to be said, doing what is right for your family is all that matters. I love you.

  3. Chickieon 09 Jan 2014 at 10:55 am

    Jessica, Tiffany– I love you both! <3

  4. aliceon 09 Jan 2014 at 11:14 am

    I think family can mean a lot of different things. It doesn’t have to be defined by DNA or the size of your household. 2 of our children are adopted and 2 are not. I actually never thought I wanted to have children and certainly not four of them. The thing is I love being a mom now and I love our crazy bunch. It worked out better than I could have ever imagined or planned for. I very much believe God knows what he’s doing. He made you the perfect mama for Baby Boy and perhaps it will happen again( or it wont). Either way, you will be happy and thankful and enjoying your “right now”. Because that’s just who you are. :)

  5. Chickieon 09 Jan 2014 at 11:25 am

    Alice, I didn’t realize that two of your babies were adopted! As though I needed ANOTHER reason to love you guys even more!! You are absolutely right. What will be, will be. I think it helps me to acknowledge that I might not have more babies and to be okay with that. Otherwise I will feel like I’m trying to complete some sort of race. It’s a character flaw, for sure. I always feel like I need to mark things off the list. Some “lists” are completely beyond my control!

  6. braintwinon 27 Jan 2014 at 1:58 pm

    I have no opinions on being an only child or on having multiple children (or any children for that matter) – But I have a very strong opinion that while, yes, you are lucky to have your special boy – He is also very lucky to have YOU! And regardless of what the future holds, that will always be the case. <3 and hugs.

  7. braintwinon 27 Jan 2014 at 1:59 pm

    Oh – and Spiderman rocks… especially when he has sweet cheeks. :)

  8. Chickieon 27 Jan 2014 at 2:58 pm

    Thank you, Braintwin! I LOVE YOU!!!

  9. Autism Unitedon 28 Jan 2014 at 9:55 am

    When the time is right to have a second child, it happens. For some it never does and that doesn’t make you a bad parent to want to be selfish and enjoy just the one. How many parents do you know who say they wished they only had one?
    He is a real cute little man!
    Spoil him, get him a puppy and never look back and regret.

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