This week has been, as a friend coined it, profoundly sad. The events on Monday at the Boston Marathon were a shock to the system, starting the week off with heartbreak, confusion, and disappointment. For Texans, the news of a massive plant explosion in West added an additional layer of sadness.
This week alone, so many people have lost someone dear to them in events that could have just as easily never happened… an unfortunate flip of life’s coin. So many people have frantically tried to reach someone they love and spent hours not knowing their fate. So many people will remember this as the hardest year of their lives. Continue Reading »
Photo by Keith Ramsey via Flickr Creative Commons
I’ve tried to muster the energy all week to write a post. Where my brain normally sizzles with activity, this week, it hasn’t even started to steam. I haven’t had any huge revelations. Nothing profound has occurred. Mostly, I’ve just been tired. Really, really tired.
What did occur was the biggest case of mom guilt I’ve had to date. My guy was sick last weekend– fever, upset stomach, and screamy
periods days. K and I had our first real, “Okay, should we go to the E.R?” conversation. I made my first frantic call to the doctor. I gave Baby Boy his first cool bath to bring down fever. After he was at an acceptable temperature and in bed for the night, though I often joke about “needing a drink,” I had my first real moment where I sunk into the couch and seriously considered opening a bottle of wine. Boiling hot babies are straight up terrifying, and it only reminds you how little control you actually have over things that occur in life. Continue Reading »
Last weekend, Baby Boy participated in his first Easter egg hunt. Watching him grab an orange dyed egg and claim it as his own was fun and fresh. It made me remember being small myself and how finding a hidden egg felt like unlocking the door to Narnia– or so I imagine. I don’t actually know how it would feel to have a portal to Narnia. The cries and diapers of weekend teething melted away, and this orange egg memory is the one that fossilized. Continue Reading »
At the park with Dad!
As Baby Boy gets older, I have more and more moments when I think to myself, “This. This is what it was all for.”
In the evenings (usually when it’s time to start dinner), Baby Boy gets a little clingy. He’s winding down from his afternoon nap, and he wants to be held… until bed time. If you are unable to humor him, he either clamps himself onto your leg and cries with hands outstretched, “Mah! Mah! Mah! Mah! Mah! Mah!” OR if I am lucky, he’ll forgo the melodrama and simply sit on my foot. This scenario is much more conducive to chopping chicken and peeling carrots. Continue Reading »
Photo via Flickr Creative Commons by frasercgraham
Since January, my little guy who never got antibiotic-sick during his first year, has been to the doctor three times. He’s currently on his third round of antibiotics.
Having a sick kid is the worst and not for the reasons you might think. It’s not the clinginess or the irritability or being snotted on or anything like that. You WORRY…. about EVERYTHING. You lie awake at night listening for coughs and cries. As fatigue gnaws your sleepless brain, you start to imagine elaborate scenarios in which you fall asleep only to discover a cold baby in the morning like someone on the evening news– all because you fell asleep and missed a fatal cough.
Parenthood is crazy, y’all. Continue Reading »
Sometimes, I think the worst place one can turn for information is the internet– especially adoption information. You’ll find all sorts of extreme ideas regarding adoption (usually from people who have never even adopted a pet, much less a son or daughter). It’s hard to know how you are supposed to feel at any point.
When we were waiting, there were several instances when our caseworker called to talk to us about profile opportunities. We made it clear that there were lots of things we’d make exceptions on, but we wanted to make calls on those things based on each individual situation. Because of this choice, there were a few cases when we knew we were being considered by birth parents, and we spent lots of time on pins and needles. As it turned out, none of these parents ever chose us. In fact, when we did get a call about Baby Boy’s birth mom and dad being interested in us, we had no idea that anyone was even evaluating our profile. For us, it was much easier not knowing that someone was pouring through our profile trying to make the most important choice of their lives… of our life too. We also would have been spared feelings of sadness and rejection if they had chosen someone else to parent Baby Boy. Continue Reading »
Photo by Bixentro via Flickr creative commons
I would imagine to that to most adoptive parents, receiving your child’s birth certificate with your name and his name printed on an official document is kind of a special moment. It was to me, at least. Ten months after we brought Baby Boy home, we received his birth certificate. Two months after that, I begrudgingly made my way to the local Social Security Administration to apply for his social security card.
I’ve heard horror stories about the SSA my whole life. I also have never forgotten the day I had my name changed after K and I married. All of those people in house shoes! WHY?! However, I spoke with both adoptive and non adoptive parents about their experiences, and I confirmed on the SSA website approximately elevently billion times exactly what I would need to complete the process. With all of this in mind and Baby Boy’s birth certificate, a completed application, my identification, and the official final adoption decree in hand, I got there before they opened and took a number. Continue Reading »
Photo by Marktristan via Flickr Creative Commons
Today, Russian President Vladimir Putin signed an anti-U.S. adoption decree into law. Today, the possibility for a loving home slipped through thousands of tiny fingers. Today, families already fully devoted to a child they will now never hold are mourning the loss of what wasn’t.
I’ve watched for a while as the wheels of this horrible measure gained momentum hoping that at the 11th hour, the Russian government would have a change of heart. Though we went the domestic adoption route, I have a heart for families formed through international adoption. I am a firm believer that EVERY child, regardless of race, nationality, or creed is equally deserving of a loving home. Certainly children living in orphanages with notoriously deplorable conditions are among these. Continue Reading »
Learning is here- photo by Cogdogblog via Flickr Creative Commons
Before our little guy came along and changed our sleeping and eating habits for what appears to be forever, I believed a lot of things that added to the stress of impending parenthood. Over the course of the last year, I’ve learned more than how much Tylenol constitutes a safe dose by age
and weight. I’ve learned a few things the hard way that I feel are worth sharing.
1) Before our guy came along what seemed like everyone told us that as soon as we brought him home, our beloved Abby (known affectionately as “Durl” to those who know her) was going to be headed out the door. Continue Reading »
Happy Birthday, Sweet Boy!
A year ago today, you sailed into our lives, and you changed us for the better. You have been special from the moment you came to be, and I am grateful beyond words that our destinies are intertwined. You were meant for us, and I can only hope that as you grow older, you will feel that we were meant for you. I know you were born with a story instead of a blank slate, but I hope this doesn’t make you sad. You are loved beyond measure by two sets of parents, and I hope that one day, you will understand the full depth of all of our love.
Every night when I go to sleep, I believe that I can’t love you any more than I do at that moment. Every morning, when I wake up to your smiling face, I know I was was wrong once more. I love you even more than I loved you the night before. Our love for you is like the universe– infinite and expanding. Continue Reading »